Friday, July 25, 2008

My favorite homophobic baseball pitcher

Yes, I love Todd Jones. I love him because it's fabulous when old-school baseball writers bring up his save percentage and attempt to pretend he's good at being a baseball pitcher. It's OK, they don't know any better. The save stat is useless, eclipsed in uselessness only by pitcher won/loss record.

I also LOVE it when he gives up bombs to Jermaine Dye.

Look, this Tigers team is poorly constructed. They have 1 good starting pitcher. Rogers blows, Robertson blows, Galarraga is a timebomb, and Miner doesn't count. The Tigers' bandwagon is full of douchebags that didn't even know Detroit had a baseball team until 2006. These fuckers stroke themselves off to Brandon Inge at night. Todd Jones upsets these people when he falters and I can't help but get a tingle up my leg (Chris Matthews™) when that happens.

Leyland has a new rule for Jones' use every month. First they had to watch his use on back to back days. Then they needed to use him ONLY in save situations. I guess the guy just can't get juiced up to throw his 89 mph cutter right down the middle unless he's protecting a lead. OK, fine.

Now, they just have to make sure they don't "overuse" him. Just encase this bigoted fuck in glass already and slap a "Use Only When Down By 10 Runs" sign on there. Or just encase him in glass and forget the sign.

Joneseycakes has 15 walks against 13 strikeouts in 2008. He's given up 46 hits in 39.2 innings. Every out he gets is a matter of luck.

This is not about the "closer" role. This is about a roster spot. Todd Jones is not a good use of one.

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