Mark Twain is to Samuel Clemens as Mike O'Hara is to Matt Millen

There really is no other explanation for this, is there?

It's bad enough that O'Hara guaranteed at least 9 wins for the Lions this year. If he had just posted a one line article stating his prediction, that 9 wins is "the standard," we could have pointed/laughed and just assumed he got a nice reach-around from Rod or Matt.

But then he had to elaborate, expound, and double-down on the craziness:

When the 2008 schedule was released, I wrote the Lions could win nine games. It wasn't a prediction, just a somewhat humorous way of showing how a 9-7 season was possible. From what I've seen so far, I was wrong.

Hey, the Lions only have 7 wins to go. They're 2-0 with wins over the Super Bowl champs and the high-powered Bengals. Cross Kitna is working on a perfect season. All is right with the world. I see where O'Hara is coming from.

Huh? What's that you say?

It's the preseason?

Oh.

Well they're still 2-0 and that counts for something right?

Wait, they were 2-0 in the preseason last year too?

OK, nevermind.

The Lions will win nine games, maybe more. They're super fast on defense, they will build a running game, protect the quarterback and have talent at wide receiver. I say 9-7 is the standard. Whether that earns a playoff spot remains to be seen, but this team will not fall apart, unless shredded by injuries.


I love the injury caveat. This is the Lions we're talking about. Of course they'll be decimated by injuries. It always seems that way because they never have any depth. They don't have much front line talent either, but with the Lions it's the difference between a marginal NFL player and signing guys off the street 24 hours before a game that they end up starting (Doug Evans/Otis Smith™).

Calvin Johnson is currently one of the 10 best players in the NFL.

Look, I like Calvin Johnson. (How's that for a caveat?)

However, this is just insanity.

CURRENTLY ONE OF THE 10 BEST PLAYERS IN THE NFL.CURRENTLY ONE OF THE 10 BEST PLAYERS IN THE NFL.CURRENTLY ONE OF THE 10 BEST PLAYERS IN THE NFL.CURRENTLY ONE OF THE 10 BEST PLAYERS IN THE NFL.CURRENTLY ONE OF THE 10 BEST PLAYERS IN THE NFL.CURRENTLY ONE OF THE 10 BEST PLAYERS IN THE NFL.CURRENTLY ONE OF THE 10 BEST PLAYERS IN THE NFL.CURRENTLY ONE OF THE 10 BEST PLAYERS IN THE NFL.CURRENTLY ONE OF THE 10 BEST PLAYERS IN THE NFL.

I've checked the article several times during the day to see if some intern was messing around and the News finally got around to fixing the error. No such luck.

Calvin Johnson has to have a pretty damn good sophomore season just to be considered one of the 10 best receivers in the NFL. This is Peter King level stupidity here folks.

Forget about how the Lions should have drafted Joe Thomas (Browns offensive lineman) or Adrian Peterson (Vikings running back) last year.

2 preseason games are more important than the entire 2007 regular season. That is the overarching lesson to be learned from Mike O'Crazy. It's not even worth getting into a strategic discussion of whether you'd rather have a star left tackle, running back, or wide receiver is it? After all, Calvin Johnson is now one of the 10 best players in the league.

Herman Moore set the standard for all Lions receivers, and Johnson is meeting it.

What does this mean? Scott Mitchell set the standard for all Lions quarterbacks back in 1995 and he was a fat pussy. (Lela Star™)

Tatum Bell is playing -- or not playing -- his way into being the odd man out at tailback. He plays and acts like he isn't interested in playing football. He doesn't seem to be engaged with the team in any manner. His performance has been dreadfully lackluster, and it looks like he has lost his desire to play. Kevin Smith , Aveion Cason , Artose Pinner and Brian Calhoun all are ahead of him.

So it turns out that a guy that couldn't even crack the active roster last year isn't that good? Huh? I'm shocked. Meanwhile, is anyone confident the Lions will "build a running game" if they go into the season with Kevin Smith, Cason, Pinner, and Calhoun as their backs? Besides Colletto, Millen, Rod, Killer, and O'Hara?

Didn't think so.

The Lions have more good, young players on the roster than at any time since Jerry Ball , Bennie Blades , Chris Spielman , Barry Sanders and Moore were coming into their prime. Just to name a few, and in no particular order, Ernie Sims , Johnson, Roy Williams , Gosder Cherilus , Jerome Felton , Smith, Andre Fluellen , Daniel Bullocks , Gerald Alexander , Ikaika Alama-Francis (watch him develop this year), Jordon Dizon , Orlovsky and Stanton will form the nucleus of the team.

Again, if the Lions are the standard than there is no standard at all.

That being said, Ernie Sims is chronically overrated. Cherilus has yet to play an NFL down and is currently behind Jeff Backup and George Foster on the depth chart. You don't build your team around a right tackle unless your QB is a lefty. Jerome Felton? LOL. He's getting more run than Mike Barwis these days because he's got a great family story. I'll reserve judgment on the guy until he actually plays an NFL game. Kevin Smith? Fluellen? Yet to play a real down. Bullocks is coming off a severe injury and was just recently cleared to practice. Alama-Francis is going to develop this year? Great. Let's hope he can actually make the active roster for more than 6 games and go from there. Jordon Dizon? Wake me up when he supplants the postal worker at linebacker. ORLOVSKY! Come on Mike. Stanton? He's the rich man's Mike McMahon and poor man's Josh McCown until proven otherwise.

In two games, Kitna hasn't been touched. Amazing.

Kitna has made 10 pass attempts so far. 10. That he hasn't been touched isn't amazing me. And I'm pretty sure he was touched by an angel anyway.

A home playoff game for the Lions? Don't count it out. But they're getting better faster than anyone thought -- especially me.

I haven't seen any retractions or corrections from the News yet about this being a guest editorial from Bill Ford Jr. with a mistaken byline.

I'll keep looking.