Schizophrenic Splendid Lynn Henning

The Same ≠ The Same

2011-11-22T20:41:00.000-05:00

I'll start with a qualifier. Greg Mattison and Brady Hoke (along with the defensive assistants) have done an amazing job with Michigan's defense. That much is clear and obvious. However, it's disingenuous to assert (as I've been hearing/seeing) that the defensive turnaround is solely a result of coaching and that all of the players are the same with only the results different.

From the 2010 Ohio game to the likely starting defense on Saturday, the Wolverines defense returns 5 starters.

By my count:

Starters in 2010 & 2011:
DE/DT Ryan Van Bergen (RS SR)
NT Mike Martin (SR)
MLB Kenny Demens (RS JR)
WDE Craig Roh (JR)
SS Jordan Kovacs (RS JR)

The Missing 6:
DE Greg Banks (graduated)
WLB Jonas Mouton (graduated and in NFL)
Spur Cam Gordon (hurt most of the year, now seeing special teams duty)
FS Ray Vinopal (transferred to Pitt)
CB James Rogers (graduated)
CB Courtney Avery (current nickel back)

The replacement 6:
DE/DT Will Heininger (RS SR, hurt most of last year, played some late in the year)
WLB Desmond Morgan (true freshman)
SLB Jake Ryan (RS FR, generated a ton of practice hype in 2010)
FS Troy Woolfolk (RS SR, injured all of 2010)
CB JT Floyd (RS JR, hurt towards the end of 2010)
CB Blake Countess (true freshman)

Firstly, the whole unit has been MUCH healthier than in 2010. The most significant injury they've had on defense was Cam Gordon who missed most of the season and is now 3rd on the depth chart at SLB behind Jake Ryan and Brennan Beyer.

The only position where there has been a talent downgrade was at WLB where Michigan has had some trouble replacing the enigmatic Mouton. First it was Brandon Herron with a little bit of Mike Jones sprinkled in. Herron suffered an undisclosed injury and was supplanted by Desmond Morgan for Notre Dame. He was awful and replaced by Brandin Hawthorne who made a couple of nice plays and parlayed that to a starting role that he eventually ceded to the resurgent Morgan.

Other than that, Michigan is either more experienced or simply better at every position. I didn't even mention a healthy beast-mode Mike Martin vs. the gimpy-ankled-got-chop-blocked-by-Sparty 2010 version.

I've also been hearing people giving credit for his great recruits like Countess and Morgan. Sorry, those guys committed to the previous staff so Brady/Mattison get credit for coaching them up but not reeling them in.

That is all. Go Blue. Beat Ohio.

P.S. Read 3 & Out by John U. Bacon if you haven't already.

The Pictures

2011-09-03T12:51:00.000-04:00

So, I realized I don't really have the energy to write a true Michigan football preview. Plus, every time I thought about what I wanted to say I would end up digressing into a discussion of Hoke vs. RR, spread vs. Manball, the power play vs. basketball on grass, etc.

Instead, I'll make a quick observation or two and call it a season.

In case you were wondering about those pictures below. The one on the left is the first play from the 2011 Spring Game. The one on the right is from the 2010 opener vs. UConn. In case you didn't notice Michigan's offensive formation is nearly identical in each. Michigan's base package was a shotgun 3x1x1 last year and I expect it to be again this year at least when we're playing against quality opponents.

We can manball it up against Directional Michigan but if we're going to improve on 7 wins (and the talent is there for 8+) it's going to have to come on the strength (or at least the threat) of Denard's legs.

All in all, I expect the offense to be less warm and soapy while the defense will still be mediocre but make me feel less stabby. The special teams will still be an adventure early, especially until either Gibbons or Wile take control of the kicking job (if either does) and while Hagerup is suspended.

Michigan won 7 games last year and returns nearly everyone. If it wasn't for the coaching transition improvement would be nearly guaranteed. Even so, 7 wins is probably the safe bet but not getting to 8 would be an unfortunate self-inflicted wound.

I'll take 8 and just hope the Denard Robinson ride is as fun as it has the potential to be.

Shifting Gears

2011-08-21T23:25:00.000-04:00

I've been thinking about taking the next couple of posts to write a Michigan Football preview rather than making fun of Lynn et al.

The images above will be discussed so wet your whistle and stay tuned...

Changed The Site Name, Yo

2011-08-12T23:41:00.001-04:00

My hand was forced.

We've always loved when our buddy Lynn would write those question and answer columns where he writes the questions that nobody is asking and gives the answers that make no sense.

Along those lines we get the fun "Point-counterpoint: Breaking down the popular Tigers debates from August 10th.

* Point: The Tigers have the best starting pitching among all their Central Division rivals because of their depth and talent: Justin Verlander, Max Scherzer, Rick Porcello, Doug Fister and Brad Penny.

Best = depth and talent. Hmm, OK. Pointless yet redundant.

Counterpoint: Probably true, although the White Sox will argue.

Maybe someone should tell Lynn what a "counterpoint" is? Typically it doesn't mean "agree" does it?

But you still need defense behind those guys and the Tigers aren't the best there.

But will the White Sox argue? That's what I want to know.

* Point: The change in pitching coaches seems to have gone smoothly with Detroit's staff. But the hitting coach, Lloyd McClendon, remains. Don't people see what's happened with Curtis Granderson since he left Detroit?

Justin Verlander was great with the old pitching coach and remains great. Brad Penny was a tomato can and remains a tomato can. I guess the pitching coach transition has been pretty smooth.

* Counterpoint: You mean the Granderson who's batting .273 for the Yankees when he batted .302 and .280 during the first two years of McClendon's stint as Tigers hitting coach? You mean the Granderson who has 29 home runs at Yankee Stadium, where most of us thought he would hit 35 or 40, or more, each season? You mean the Granderson who hit .247 last season as the Yankees' omniscient hitting coaches got a hold of a guy whom McClendon had so hopelessly screwed up in Detroit?

I'm not going to get into a futile discussion about the uselessness of using only batting average to judge a hitter's performance let alone the performance of the hitting coach. Not gonna do it.

What I can gather from Lynn's counterpoint is that he thinks Granderson was quite average for the Yankees last season and his huge 2011 is really no big deal and mainly a manifestation of his home ballpark. After all, most of us* thought Granderson would hit 35-40 homers a year after being dealt to New York, right?

Clearly, Lynn must think the Yankees got fleeced dealing for that middling outfielder that swats 35-40 homers only because the cheating Yanks move in the right field fence by 150 feet every time Granderson bats, right?

Not right.

August 12th: Early returns favoring Yankees in megadeal

Take a peek at those statistics from Aug. 11, 2010. The Tigers were utter geniuses for trading Curtis Granderson to the Yankees.

OK, that's a year ago but the baseball season doesn't typically end on August 11th does it? I just checked and it turns out that it doesn't. And when the 2010 season ended Granderson finished with an OPS+ of 109. In his last year with the Tigers, Granderson finished with an OPS+ of 102. It would seem that his stats on August 11th, 2010 might not be all that important in the grand scheme of things. But let's let Lynn continue with his thought experiment...

Meanwhile, in Detroit, a kid named Austin Jackson was flourishing in center. Max Scherzer and Phil Coke helped reconstruct manager Jim Leyland's pitching staff. And a young left-hander named Daniel Schlereth was getting some polish at Triple A Toledo in between stints that would leave him with a 2-0 record and 2.89 ERA in his first taste of life in Detroit.

Arizona might have liked its part of the bargain, but the Tigers looked like con artists.

The Tigers con-artisted their way to the golf course and the Yankees got fleeced into the playoffs.

It's a year later, and new numbers have arrived. Much like replays that can show different results from different angles, the picture has changed, at least temporarily.

Temporarily is probably the key word here as Lynn's mind floats like a plastic bag in the wind.

In fact, you can excuse the Yankees for not being terribly concerned what the Tigers or Diamondbacks do with their two-thirds of that parcel from December 2009.

The Yankees no longer mind being con-artisted?

Granderson is having one of those MVP-brand seasons the Tigers thought he would regularly amass after he had early monster years at Comerica Park.

He has 32 home runs and 93 RBIs for the Yankees. He is hitting .275, which isn't as important as how a player who once viewed left-handers as if they had skulls and crossbones on their uniforms is batting against those same lefties in 2011 — .273.

Whoa. There's so much crazy here it's very hard to parse. Hitting .275 overall isn't as important as hitting .273 in a minority of your at-bats huh? In fact, what's more important is being able to hit .273 against pirates. Gotcha.

The winner from all that finagling is, today — the Yankees.

Lynn goes on to ramble about who could win the finagling tomorrow. But I want to know about yesterday man.

April 5th, 2010: A taste of Austin Jackson ...

The throw he made in the seventh inning to nail Jason Kendall was one tool from Austin Jackson's workbench.

He's a very good baseball player. These were the skills we saw throughout spring camp.

The double he ripped down the left-field line in the Tigers' big sixth inning rally was another.

We'll see some struggles, no doubt. But the Tigers knew what they were doing when they brought on Jackson to replace Curtis Granderson.

Can't wait for the 2012 edition!

P.S. Lynn whips out a "splendid" in the article about the Yankees winning the deal when discussing Phil Coke. He's seriously a Terminator Skynet sent back to never stop typing splendid. There's no other explanation.

*most of us = not most of us

Argh

2011-05-27T18:46:00.005-04:00

There's a segment of the Michigan football fanbase that liked Rich Rodriguez and thought he was submarined by elements within the program. Some think Lloyd Carr should have been more vocal in his support for Rodriguez and others think he was Captain Nemo of the proverbial submarine.

HOF '11 doesn't do himself any favors with this:

Lloyd Carr on ESPN 970: Michigan will compete in Big Ten with consistent defense, bigger players

He's right about the defense part. He MIGHT even be right about the needing bigger players part. Probably not, but it's possible. What's interesting is that I did some research (research=thinking) about the guys Michigan ran out there last year and how they came to be Wolverines in the first place.

While many argue about whether the Michigan offense was actually any good last year, there's no question that the defense was horrifically bad. SInce the team won 7 games, the offense must have done something right. Anyway, here were your 2010 opening day starters vs. UConn on D:

DE: Ryan Van Bergen (Carr)
NT: Mike Martin (Carr)
DE: Greg Banks (Carr)
WLB: Jonas Mouton (Carr)
MLB: Obi Ezeh (Carr)
SLB: Craig Roh (RR)
Spur: Carvin Johnson (RR)
CB: J.T. Floyd (Carr)
CB: James Rogers (Carr)
FS: Cam Gordon (RR)
SS: Jordan Kovacs (walk-on, RR)

7 of 11 of the too small, not consistent, guys were recruited by Lloyd Carr. Hmmm. As I said, Lloyd might be right but then again perhaps he should take some of the blame?

Michael Rosenberg Just Can't Quit Coach Rod

2011-01-06T21:21:00.003-05:00

Hey, Rosenberg, you have succeeded in your quest. Rich Rod is gone. What are you going to do now? Disneyorld? No? Disney Land?? Negatory? Euro Disney??? Still no???????????

OK, I give up, what is it then Mikey?

You're going to continue trying to assassinate Coach Rod? Huh? Really? I guess so.

Why Rich Rodriguez failed at U-M

This is bound to be a fair read.

Six weeks ago, the two people who seemed most likely to coach Michigan in 2011 were Rich Rodriguez and Jim Harbaugh. It won't be either. So who is next?

Hmm, this seems more like a "who's next?" type of article rather than anything to do with Rodriguez, no?

Let's say this, up front: Michigan remains a premier job. Don't let anybody tell you otherwise. Don't let them say that if Rodriguez couldn't win in Ann Arbor and Harbaugh doesn't want to be there, Michigan has lost its luster.

Good to know. It's especially a plum job now that the they got rid of that asshole head coach who didn't not promote an atmosphere of compliance. Once the Free Press goes from 50% out of business to fully out of business it will be an even better job.

After firing Rodriguez, athletic director Dave Brandon evaded questions at Wednesday's news conference about whether he had talked with Harbaugh recently about taking the job. Brandon also said he thought Harbaugh would go to the NFL. Do the math: Brandon knows Harbaugh isn't coming to Michigan.

Simpletons. Do the math. Brandon says Harbaugh is going to the NFL. Michigan isn't the NFL. Therefore Harbaugh must not be coming to Michigan. MATH. I RULEZ THE MATH.

For a while, I had reason to believe U-M had a real shot at Harbaugh. And if Harbaugh, who turned 47 last month, wanted to be a college coach forever, I think he would have jumped at the Michigan job. But he knows if he goes to U-M now, it will take him at least two or three years to reach a level he has reached at Stanford -- and would delay any chance to go to the NFL. Scratch him off the list. It sounds like Brandon already has.

I have no idea what this means. I also don't think Michigan wants to have it's next coach last only 2-3 years whether that is because he sucks balls or wins too many mythical national titles.

I am amused by people who say Rodriguez "didn't forget to coach overnight." OK, fine. But why should his ability be defined only by his three excellent years at West Virginia and not the other seven years of his Division I career?

I am amused by people that care about Michael Rosenberg's opinion on anything other than the taste of Jim Harbaugh's dick. I'm also rarely amused. Do the math.

However, I am amused at trying to judge a man's career by removing his most successful work and then looking at the rest and saying, "meh."

But I can play this game. I think it's safe to say from his continued slobbering that Rosenberg LOVES him some Jimmy Harbaugh. Fine. I'm cool with that. But watch this:

Let's take Jim Harbaugh's best 3 seasons in Division I off his résumé and see what's left...

4 wins
8 losses
3-6 in the Pac 10

That's his whole career outside of his best 3 seasons outside of Division I. Jim Harbaugh has had 1 wonderful season, 2 decent ones, and one bad. Clearly, the man just can't coach.

I just took away Bill Belichick's best 3 seasons and it turns out he has never won a Super Bowl and lost to a clearly inferior opponent in his only Super Bowl appearance. That guy blows.

I'm not saying Rodriguez is as bad as his Michigan record -- he did have three wonderful years at West Virginia and three other decent ones. But he is responsible for his failure at Michigan. For all the complaining about the Les Miles crowd and Lloyd Carr's disgruntled players and the media and "the drama," Rodriguez failed at the most important tasks for a coach: hiring assistant coaches and recruiting.

I'll cede his point about hiring assistants. I'll assume "assistants" means "defensive coordinators" and there's little to argue other than saying since both Shafer and Robinson failed so miserably I think that the players MIGHT have had something to do with it.

With regards to recruiting, Rosenberg will be proven horribly wrong over the next three years if Michigan makes a good coaching hire and doesn't suffer massive attrition during this transition period.

See, Coach Rod was hired in December of '07 about 2 months before signing day. In that period of time, Rodriguez secured most of the current Carr recruits and brought in several of his own. He tried to get T. Pryor, for better or worse, and brought in several key offensive contributors out of his 8 commitments. This past season, 2 players that RR recruited completed their true junior years: Tay Odoms and Mike Shaw.

Roy Roundtree was the team's leading receiver the last two seasons after redshirting. Patrick Omameh is a future NFL draft pick playing at right guard. Terrence Robinson contributed in the slot. Ricky Barnum is poised to take over for Schilling at left guard next year. One of the other guys never made it to campus and Justin Feagin flamed out and is now a drug dealer or something. I think he might be enrolling at Michigan State.

The next year, RR had his first true recruiting class and it brought us Denard. Those guys just either completed their sophomore or redshirt freshmen seasons. There isn't a coach in the country that can win with second year players making up the bulk of the team. It's even tougher when you have to play more true freshmen than seniors.

Rich Rod is not without blame and the situation became so toxic that he had to go. But he can coach and he can recruit.

One last math problem:

If you took away all of Rosenberg's good articles and left only the bad ones, how many articles would you be left with?

The same amount you started with.

All Your CC Rabble Rabble Are Belong To Us

2011-01-04T20:18:00.003-05:00

And we're back. Sort of.

This isn't about Lynn.

It's not my usual brand of "comedy."

Admittedly, there's nothing splendid about it.

However, with the Michigan coaching situation going kablooey today I wanted to weigh in and at least get something on the record regarding the "CC:"

When Rich Rodriguez was hired in December of 2007 he had a month or so to maintain the current recruiting class put together by Lloyd Carr and attempt to add players of his own.

In 2011, the players from that hybrid class (that did not redshirt) will be in their final year of eligibility.

As such, barring any medical redshirts, the following Rodriguez recruits will graduate next season:

Michael Shaw
Martavious “Tay” Odoms

That's it. Rodriguez will leave Michigan without having graduated a player and the next coach will graduate TWO of his recruits following his first season. The rest of the guys in the same boat such as Stonum and Koger were recruited by Lloyd.

While I have been a RR supporter, I do agree that the situation seems too toxic to continue with the status quo.

With that being said, the next coach of the Wolverines deserves better. He deserves more time barring unforeseen severe circumstances.

Unless, of course, it's Brady Hoke.

Lo Siento

2010-03-25T23:18:00.003-04:00

Lynn's been out of control lately and I've been out of commission.

I'm not really going to post anything but I wanted all of you faithful reader(s) to know that I'm aware of the situation.

That's all.

I suck.

Fresh 2010 Air or Splendipity

2010-01-19T22:25:00.004-05:00

Lynn was such a downer as the Tigers crumbled down the stretch in '09. It got so bad I couldn't even bring myself to post a couple of splendid references. Then he started pulling a McCosky and doing U of M football articles and it got even worse.

Lynn seems to have ended his fling with those pesky Minnesota Twins and is back to blowing the Bengals in strange articles like this one.

A suggested list of hitters who might do more than 2009's numbers imply includes these gentlemen:

Yikes.

Scott Sizemore: Remember that each and every season, there's a trophy known as American League rookie of the year.

Lynn you fucking liar.

It goes to a first-year player who, coming into spring camp, was anything but a sure thing but who ended up playing very well.

I searched MLB.com and could not find that definition anywhere.

Ryan Raburn: OK, we get it. The Tigers are going to make Raburn earn the starting left fielder's job.

That sounds pressure packed.

...plus the Tigers understand Raburn isn't a guy who benefits from pressure.

Uh-oh.

Gerald Laird: He is a better hitter than .225 and four home runs in 135 games.

Gerald Laird 2009: .225/.306/.320
Gerald Laird career: .247/.306/.367

Brandon Inge: Ignore the weirdness of Inge's 2009 season and lay these numbers on anyone who assesses third basemen and hitting data: 27 home runs, 84 RBIs. Pretty good stuff, especially when you cover as much ground as Inge at third base.

Ugh.

I can't do it again.

Just go here

Now plan on a much better, much more consistent year from Inge at the plate in 2010.

Consistent. Sir Joseph Morgan would be proud. Brandon Inge is already incredibly consistent. He sucks year in and year out.

Tilt

2009-11-30T22:50:00.005-05:00

maddeningly mercurial
quirky history
loads of muscle
packed as tight as a bookshelf
as entertaining to watch as a series of good movie sequels
a splendid* mosaic of speed and power
simply can't put the remainder of the assembly together
dazzling
The only question the Tigers have is a happy one
a left-hand Brian Moehler
an artillery piece for an arm
ranks as at least basic insurance
one-time stardust prospect
Another potential high-jumper

Actually

2009-11-23T22:03:00.001-05:00

It means less.

Confusion

2009-10-12T23:43:00.004-04:00

I'm confused.

Terry Foster's confused.

Terry Foster / Sunday, October 10th, 2009

Iowa City, Iowa -- Michigan coach Rich Rodriguez tried his best to paint a rosy picture after Saturday's 30-28 loss to Iowa. If you listened to Rodriguez address the media, all is well in the land of maize and blue. But it is not.

Folks, all is not well.

There is something wrong with this brew.

What's wrong with it?

What's going on with Michigan's program?
I am not sure.
But something does not smell right.

Ah, the brew smells. Gotcha.

We get it Terry. Lay off the brew already.

Terry Foster / Monday, October 12th, 2009

U-M in good shape despite setbacks

Sunday must have been a kickass day for the Michigan brewmaster.

Quick Question...

2009-10-11T15:39:00.003-04:00

Those of you enjoying the thrilling Lions/Steelers tilt:

Has Dick Enberg been able to correctly identify a Lions receiver yet today? Seriously. Dennis Northcutt is Bryant Johnson. Calvin Johnson is Bryant Johnson. Bryant Johnson is Derrick Williams. Charles Rogers is Mike Williams. (OK, that one didn't happen but still)

At running back, Maurice Morris is Kevin Smith.

A man named Josh McDaniel is coaching the Broncos.

Last night, Musberger thought Travis Minor was playing for Michigan.

Is it too much to ask for the announcers to either:

a. not be senile

b. know who the players are in the game

c. have good enough vision to see the field

d. not be complete assclowns

Is it?

I Wonder...

2009-10-08T21:48:00.004-04:00

if people like Lynn realize the same people that "bat" for baseball teams typically also "field" for those teams.

An otherwise solidly built baseball team has too few hitters.

It's true, the Tigers only have 7 hitters on their roster. They're the modern day version of Bugs Bunny.

But seriously, the Tigers offense was awful this year. They finished 10th in the AL in runs scored and in reality were 11th since they needed an extra game to pass the Orioles.

On the other hand, the Tigers run prevention was pretty good, 4th best in the league prior to game 163.

Last offseason, Dave Dombrowski and the rest of the Blue Shirt Crew™ decided that one of the easiest ways to improve the club would be to improve the team defense. They were very successful in doing that, as the Tigers jumped from 24th in defensive efficiency in 2008 to 9th overall in 2009.

The Tigers made that leap by signing shortstop Adam Everett, trading for catcher Gerald Laird, moving Brandon Inge back to third base, and installing Carlos Guillen in left field. They were also counting on improvement from Miguel Cabrera at first base where he landed after tumbling down the defensive spectrum.

Other than Guillen continuing his run of fragility, basically all of those moves worked. On defense.

In Lynn-speak: They have infield defense on a celestial level, as they do at catcher. But they don't have the bats.

What Lynn fails to realize is that those "celestial" (a great new adjective for Señor Thesaurus) infielders aren't allowed to play all-time defense. In fact, those same guys have to hit.

Career batting line for Adam Everett:
.245/.297/.351

Career batting line for Gerald Laird:
.247/.306/.367

Career batting line for Brandon Inge:
.236/.305/.394

That's 3/5ths of the infield star system.

That's a third of your regular batting order.

That's going to make it hard to score runs unless your other 6 guys are pretty damn awesometastic.

Meanwhile, just for fun, let's look at how those 3 celestial baseball guys "hit" in 2009:

Everett:
.238/.288/.325

Laird:
.225/.306/.320

Inge:
.230/.314/.406

Who could have seen it coming!?

Lynn continues with some other weird comments and craziness but I'm too tired to chronicle it all.

Of note, Lynn is back on the Casper Wells train which is always fun.

Captain Blue Shirt's presser today deserves a post of its own so I'll try to get to that later or tomorrow.

Until later loyal reader.

I mean readers.

Readers.

Yahtzee!

2009-09-16T15:26:00.004-04:00

Lynn has been pretty down on the ol' Tigs lately. That being said, Lynn is still an unstoppable killing machine with a thesaurus fetish:

Washburn had to leave after one inning Tuesday in the Tigers' 11-1 loss to the Kansas City Royals at Comerica Park. The problem was recurring "soreness" that has gnawed at Washburn's left knee throughout the season, even as he was rolling up splendid numbers with the Seattle Mariners before they traded him to the Tigers on July 31.

Can anyone tell me why soreness is in quotes? In the immortal words of the Mayor of Tigertown, is that a dig?

My Heart Leaps Like Gazelle

2009-09-16T15:15:00.002-04:00

FJM reunion today at Deadspin.com

As we all know by now, "scrappy" is a meaningless, arbitrary, clichéd adjective that sportswriters use to describe baseball players they like. Often, these players are small, white, terrible at baseball, David Eckstein, or all four of the above.

Jaw Meet Floor

2009-09-15T19:17:00.001-04:00

So, what has happened to a 28-year-old center fielder of such grandeur (he might as well have been called Curtis Grandeurson) that he was viewed coming into this season as the indispensable Tigers player?

Drew Sharp Steps Up The Crazy

2009-07-22T00:27:00.006-04:00

Noted optimist Drew Sharp turned in quite a doozy over at the Free Press the other day. There's lots of general negativity and it's basically another stock Sharp column until he gets to the subject of Curtis Granderson...

That's especially true of Curtis Granderson. How is it that an All-Star can disappoint? Granderson gets a free pass in this town because he satisfies the idealism of what a professional athlete should be: humble, polite and erudite. But he has regressed from the standard established two years ago when he became the first ballplayer since Willie Mays to accrue 20 homers, 20 doubles, 20 triples and 20 steals in a season.

Drew is correct to say that Granderson has regressed from his spectacular 2007. However, Granderson had a career year in 2007 and if not for his typical poor performance against lefties, he would have been a legitimate MVP candidate. In '07 Grandy hit .302/.361/.552 overall but an Everett-like .160/.225/.269 against southpaws. 19% of his at-bats came against fellow lefties.

In '09, Granderson is at .257/.341/.464 overall and an Infantiago-like .188/.276/.277 against port-siders. For some reason (Jim Leyland), 31% of his at-bats have come against lefthanders. Against righties, Granderson is currently hitting .288/.370/.548 which is almost identical to his 2008 line against righthanders and better than his overall 2007 performance.

In short, Grandy had his career year in '07, performed better than he ever has against lefties in '08, and should be strictly platooned from here on out. At the very least, The Skipper could do what he did last year and bat Granderson down in the order, but it's tough to do that when your catcher, shortstop, and other outfielders are auditioning to be honorary members of the 2003 Tigers.

Drew came to a similar conclusion:

He's a No. 3 or No. 5 hitter. The only reason he remains at leadoff is because there's no suitable replacement.

Oh, right, nevermind.

The guy is hitting worse overall, and specifically for fewer extra base hits, so we should put him in a spot in the order that requires more extra base hits. Perfect. Other than the fact that The Skipper seems to agree that the 3 hole is reserved for the worst hitters on the team, this IS NOT a good plan. It's also incredibly contradictory and doesn't even satisfy rudimentary levels of logical reasoning.

He was one of the AL's premier run scorers the past two seasons: 122 runs in 2007 and 112 last year despite missing much of the season's first month with a broken hand. Granderson isn't even close to matching that pace, and it has as much to do with his lack of doubles and triples as the Tigers' inability to drive in runs.

Rhetorical questions alert

Is it possible that the real reason he's scoring less runs is that he's been on base fewer times? And with regards to the doubles and triples, is it possible that the Tigers are driving in fewer runs because there are fewer runners in scoring position? And are there fewer runners in scoring position because fewer runners are getting on base?

Orrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, as Drew seems to suggest, is Granderson scoring fewer runs this year simply because he's hitting fewer doubles and triples and the Tigers are being selfish meany heads and not driving him in enough.

Drew leaves us with a solution to the Tigers' woes:

A successful week against the Mariners and White Sox should inspire the Tigers to make the one necessary trade: acquiring Dodgers outfielder Juan Pierre.

I'm dying now.

He's back on the bench because of Manny Ramirez's return. Pierre would give the Tigers a true leadoff hitter, another productive left-handed bat, speed and a reliable defensive leftfielder.

Juan Pierre: productive, reliable, leftfielder.

Gammy doesn't feel so good. I think Gammy might be dying. Yep. Yep. OK. Good-bye, Bobby. Don't call anymore. I'm dead now.

Rob Parker Has Done It Again

2009-07-02T00:16:00.003-04:00

He may get loans from Joe D but they don't come in the form of good scoops...

Doug Collins Has To Be Coming Back
Rob Parker
POSTED: Tuesday, June 30, 2009
UPDATED: 7:49 am EDT July 1, 2009

AUBURN HILLS, Mich. -- Doug Collins must be coming back. It only makes sense.

http://www.clickondetroit.com/sports/19909377/detail.html

Updated: July 1, 2009, 11:55 PM ET
Collins won't coach Pistons
By Marc Stein / ESPN.com

Television analyst Doug Collins, one of two heavy favorites to fill the Detroit Pistons' sudden coaching vacancy, has withdrawn from consideration for the job.

http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/news/story?id=4301502

Well done Rob!

Cyberdyne Systems Model 101

2009-06-11T00:36:00.007-04:00

Lynn is a machine. A terminator. Not a T-600, or a T-800, a T-1000, or a Terminatrix. Something far beyond. He cannot be reasoned with or bargained with. He will kill your people by the thousands to get it cheaply. Jay Bilas™

If the Detroit News had editors, they could not stop him.

Turner is viewed as having a splendid pitching delivery that could make him a durable pitcher who, barring injury, should reach the majors in reasonable time.

That was proceeded by some additional flowery goodness:

The state of flux and subsequent surprises were such that the Tigers were left with a dreamy choice between Turner and the pitcher considered the top prep left-hander, Tyler Matzek, who originally was pegged to go within the first six picks.

Dreamy.

Right back atcha buddy.

Not The Sharpest Drew...Amateur Mathematician?

2009-05-12T20:11:00.003-04:00

The Wings outhit the Ducks, 35-18, in Game 5.

Cool, thanks Drew.

Wait, there's more?

That's nearly a 2-to-1 margin.

Shit, who knew?

One Word Regeneration From Hibernation

2009-04-18T00:22:00.003-04:00

Consider Rodney. He had a splendid '06 (7-4, 3.52 ERA, .196 opposing batting average) but a not-so-happy 2007-08, in great part because he had tendinitis that seemed primarily to cost him command of his fastball.

Rest assured, the 2009 baseball season is upon us.

Splendid.

In addition, Lynn seems to be hinting at some sort of Kaz Tadano-esque scandal involving rookie relief pitcher Ryan Perry:

Perry is the X factor. In fact, the 22-year-old right-hander is its Triple-X factor. He has shaken up the complexion of the relievers in multiple ways.

Stay Tuned!

New Left Tackle For Lions

2009-01-26T20:48:00.005-05:00

http://www.wwtdd.com/post.phtml?pk=18091

Now we can use the #1 pick on Michael Crabtree and sign Tony Romo! Hooray!

Great Success

2009-01-06T20:03:00.005-05:00

Remember when the boys over at Fire Joe Morgan forced Joe into accepting sabermetrics, awarding Billy Beane the Pulitzer, and resigning from ESPN?

Not ringing a bell? It was right around the time I went on sabbatical and sailed around the world with Rachel Bilson.

Anyway, now SLH has our own success story.

Since I refuse to watch ESPN, now I never have to see or hear from that fucking douche again.

GREAT SUCCESS.

Extra, Extra

2008-12-10T19:41:00.004-05:00

"Tigers Need More Ballplayers."

Drew Sharp wrote an article in the Freep today. I boiled it down to that one sentence for you. If you want to click on the link, that's fine, but I did you the favor of summarizing. So you're all set. And so is Drew, he's right on the money again. So insightful.

If only the Tigers had a full roster last year, it might have ended differently.

Anyone Else Get The Feeling That Michael Rosenberg Doesn't Like Rich Rodriguez?

2008-10-13T23:15:00.004-04:00

Mikey went all Drew Sharp on Rich Rod again today. It's for good reason, no doubt. The Michigan offense is an inept embarrassment.
Thankfully, I didn't see the game this past weekend but I find it hard to fathom that Michigan could lose to Toledo under any circumstances. They should be able to run one play all game and still beat Toledo to death. Run right. Run left. Run center. Etc. Right?

Anyway, Mikey submarined his whole life with the following:

Rodriguez was left with better talent than this. He could have had Ryan Mallett, one of the most gifted passers in school history.

Honestly? He wrote that? Really?

REALLY?

He could have had Ryan Mallett, one of the most gifted passers in school history.
He could have had Ryan Mallett, one of the most gifted passers in school history.
He could have had Ryan Mallett, one of the most gifted passers in school history.
He could have had Ryan Mallett, one of the most gifted passers in school history.
He could have had Ryan Mallett, one of the most gifted passers in school history.
He could have had Ryan Mallett, one of the most gifted passers in school history.
He could have had Ryan Mallett, one of the most gifted passers in school history.

I know the guy was highly recruited. 2nd best QB in the nation behind Jimmy Clausen. (I guess football recruiting isn't an exact science.) Mallett completed 43% of his passes last year. 43%. Those are Steve Threet numbers. Do not tell me Ryan Mallett would be succeeding in this offense. He'd be a stumbling, bumbling, fumbling, machine. Imagine John Navarre (or Steven Threet) running the spread option and that's what Rosenberg thinks Rich Rod should have pushed for.

I'm not going to get into the fact that Mallett chose to leave, probably realizing he would die in the spread option. Rosenberg makes it seem as if RR removed him from the program. That's ludricous. Steve Threet would be gone too if he hadn't just transfered from Georgia Tech. Nick Sheridan would have transferred as well but they don't allow you to transfer back to high school. David Cone is on the Andy Mignery plan.

Then Rosenberg doubled-down on the craziness with this:

Mallett’s departure created a domino effect. Receiver Adrian Arrington, who was probably coming back, left for the NFL. He could have been the best receiver in the Big Ten.

When did Adrian Arrington attribute his leaving for the NFL to Ryan Mallett transfering? And really, do you think Michigan would be any good with Ryan Mallett and Adrian Arrington? Neither are right for the system. Mallett is too, uh, bad and Arrington is pokey. He WOULD NOT have been the best receiver in the Big Ten under ANY circumstances this year. That's nuts.

Michigan has no experience. Their offensive line is the worst I've ever seen at U of M. Their quarterbacks are inexperienced and mediocre in any offense AND they don't fit the system. The skill players either don't fit the system or are freshmen. The defense is fine but on the field the whole game and certainly not dominant. This is not a recipe for success.

Even (one of) the most gifted passers in school history might have trouble righting the ship.

Biz-E

2008-10-01T16:27:00.003-04:00

There have been plenty of articles worth posting in the past week or so but the real world has kept me busy of late.

As long as Lynn is plugging away on his antique typewriter, I'll be there.

Just a phone call away.

Call me if you need me. (The other moderator of this blog is going to be upset if I throw up the Barack™ but I just can't help myself. Sorry Ecky!)

Numbers

2008-09-23T22:56:00.003-04:00

Lynn had a long piece in the News yesterday before all this Matt Clay Ford Millen stuff broke today.

In typical Lynn fashion, it's incredibly strange and difficult to read:

Numbers show where Tigers failed
Defense didn't help pitchers who couldn't control the strike zone.

That's the headline and sub-heading. I'm not particularly sure how the defense can help pitchers that "couldn't control the strike zone" since they presumably are issuing too many walks.

There's a ton of weird stuff in there and at some point I may get around to examining the whole thing. What's particularly interesting is Lynn going to Roland Hemond (Dave Dombrowski's mentor) for quotes examining the Tigers' failure this year. Oddly enough, Hemond seems to absolve the coaches (and presumably the GM) from any wrongdoing.

Since the whole article was about "numbers," Lynn does demonstrate his mastery of numbers and statistics with comments such as:

Nate Robertson, the one-time staff "bulldog" who was a good bet in most seasons to pitch 200 innings, has been in and out of the rotation due to an ERA that today sits at 6.15.

I thought this sounded a bit, shall we say, odd when I read it since Robertson goes through a dead arm phase basically every year forcing him to be shutdown.

Using my mastery of computers, I found this page that seems to contain "numbers" for Bulldog Nate Robertson.

Robertson has been with the Tigers for 5 full seasons. He's eclipsed 200 innings pitched (208.2) exactly 1 time.

Once.

1 out of 5 = good bet (Lynn™)

Father & Son

2008-09-22T23:51:00.002-04:00

No job's too big, no job's too small. They're father and son, fuck you all:

Adam Pettyjohn, former Tiger = Mason Storm

2008-09-19T16:02:00.004-04:00

OK, he wasn't in a 7 year coma but still.

Dusty Baker makes an appearance in the article and once again shows off his great baseball acumen:

This year he went 15-6 at the Reds’ Triple-A Louisville affiliate, and after striking out 10 in one of his last starts, Baker noticed. He had seen Pettyjohn in spring training and didn’t think he was ready, but to Baker, winning is winning regardless of what the radar gun says.

“Fifteen wins are 15 wins,” Baker said. “Sixteen wins are 16. I see him and I think Tommy John and Jamie Moyer. That’s pitching.”

Wins (especially at AAA) are a great measure of pitching performance.

Base clogging is bad.

Etc.

I love you Dusty.

I Agree With Matt Millen

2008-09-18T14:53:00.005-04:00

"Lions on right path says Millen"
Ted Kulfan / The Detroit News

2 down, 14 to go.

One Man's Dream

2008-09-14T22:44:00.005-04:00

Today was quite enjoyable.

I missed the first 3 quarters of the Lions game. Got a few score updates and had a good laugh when I saw they were down 21-0.

I caught a few minutes of Slappy Dan Miller and Crazy Jim Brandstatter on my way home including a nice Ernie Sims verbal BJ.

Much to my chagrin, once I tuned into FOX and the Armenian teen heartthrob, Matt Vasgersian, the Lions began their spirited comeback.

Then the wheels came off.

The tires blew.

And the gas tank exploded.

It was like watching a team go from 6-2 to 7-9 in 5 minutes flat. Truly outstanding stuff.

The dream of a defeated season lives on...

"Good" "Proven"

2008-09-12T12:13:00.003-04:00

Have vastly different meanings in the world of Joe Marinelli. Joe Barry. Joe Son-In-Law. Whatever.

"We're a good team. We've proven that; we've shown that. We're a good defense," Barry said. "You don't all of a sudden just forget how to tackle in five days. Now, we had a poor outing, we did a poor job of it. Hopefully that's behind us and we're ready to move on."

I assume he's referring to the Detroit defense that ranked 32nd in the league last year. Out of 32 teams. Dead last = good & proven. Dead last = The Lions Standard

15 more losses to go defeated...

Halcyon Days for Shane Loux

2008-09-11T15:45:00.004-04:00

Are here again!?

Ladies and gentlemen, your 2008 Pacific Coast League pitcher of the year!

Chris Matthews Syndrome

2008-09-10T13:10:00.004-04:00

Chad Gaudin seems to be having a tingling problem.

"He said he gets a tingling down in his buttocks when he throws the ball," Piniella said.

MSNBC recently saved Matthews from any more leg tingles by removing him from his anchor seat, perhaps Gaudin just needs to watch fewer Obama speeches and he'll be ready to get back on the mound.

Rough Year?

2008-09-07T18:28:00.001-04:00

Dude is not looking good. Is he borrowing liver spots from his Special Assistant, HOF '80? Admittedly, the photo is from the Free Press and all their pics look like they are transmitted via telegraph but it's still horrifying.

Photo Sans Caption

2008-09-04T13:44:00.005-04:00

Baseball Gnome Brings Freakish Enlarged Heart To Phoenix

2008-09-01T13:33:00.006-04:00

David Eckstein traded from Toronto to Arizona
Mike Fitzpatrick / Associated Press

David Eckstein quickly called his wife, then finished a fast interview and bounced around the clubhouse exchanging hugs with ex-teammates.

Bounced? Anyone else picture the translucent scrapper on one of those big inflatable rubber balls that Christina Applegate and the Clown Dog guy bonded on?

The scrappy infielder always hustles, but this was a little different.

That's the SECOND line of the article.

He immediately called his wife, actress Ashley Drane, who was at the airport waiting to board a flight for Toronto.

And so it turns out my time reading this article wasn't wasted at all:

One important note. Eckstein will be playing second base in Arizona. Presumably he won't be using his entire body to catapult the ball across the infield anymore.

Bummer.

People's Sexiest Man Alive 2008

2008-09-01T13:23:00.004-04:00

Eric Munson, Where art thou?

2008-08-26T14:47:00.004-04:00

Our boy Lynn has a Jeff Larish fetish.

Ah, what to do with Jeff Larish. It's one of those subjects that has been chewed on at length by the Tigers as they plot their future and how a powerful left-handed-hitting first baseman might help them.

Well, they could start by playing him. But the Skipper still thinks they have to give at-bats to Worthless Piece of Shit Sheffield and it took Miguel Cabrera all of 2 seconds after we dealt for him to slide all the way down the defensive spectrum.

One answer always seems to emerge: third base.

It's why Larish will be headed to the Arizona Fall League this autumn with express instructions to be used at third base, primarily, and at first base as a second consideration.

Of course, it isn't that Larish has botched anything at first base that has spurred the Tigers to switch positions.

Let's say Larish had botched something at first...would it be a good strategy to move someone that can't play first to a tougher position? That seems like a strange plan, no?

Rather, it has to do with Miguel Cabrera having a seven-year contract at first base, where it's expected he will continue to roll up Hall of Fame-brand numbers.

Right, I forgot the Tigers gave Cabrera a first base contract. He can't be moved or else the contract is voided. Yep. Gotcha Lynn.

The Tigers believe they can divide and conquer.

Huh?

They are in need of another powerful left-handed bat in their lineup.

I thought the great Matt Joyce solidified our left handed hitting.

With Carlos Guillen and his age (32) prompting thoughts of the future, and with Brandon Inge presently set at catcher for 2009, the Tigers need to consider Larish's ability to bust up games and to provide competent defense at third.

Maybe they should move Larish to catcher!

Larish has been with the Tigers on a couple of call-up assignments this year and has shown why manager Jim Leyland has said, "I like Larish -- I like him a lot."

Leyland liking a guy is a fucking death knell. Other players Jimmy likes:
Neifi Perez, Gary Sheffield, Ramon Santiago, Brandon Inge, Todd Jones, Alexis Gomez

He has impressive power and a good eye, most of which has been visible this season at Triple-A Toledo (21 home runs, a .342 on-base average in 380 at-bats).

Larish's numbers are not that great at AAA this year. Not bad, but certainly not good enough that the Tigers should be overly concerned with finding a spot for him in their lineup, at least not yet. .250/.342/.479 with 21 bombs and 50 walks against 109 strikeouts makes him anything but a sure thing.

For all the emphasis the Tigers will place on rehabilitating their pitching staff and sharpening their defense for next year, there will be a desperate need, as well, for hitters who can change games with one big hit.

The Tigers need Clutchy "Big Hit" McClutcherson. If only they had taken my advice and gotten everyone's favorite baseball gnome, David Eckstein, last offseason.

It is why Larish will be anchored to third base when the Arizona league, which features the best young talent in baseball, convenes in October.

"I pushed hard with the Arizona people because that's what we wanted to do," said Glenn Ezell, the Tigers director of player development, speaking about the plan to play Larish at third. "One thing about him is that when he did play some third base at Toledo, he didn't screw up."

EZ sure has a way with words.

Tigers manager Jim Leyland will no doubt be thinking of Larish when camp convenes in six months. Whether he thinks of him as a possible answer at third base depends, in great part, on how things go this autumn in Arizona.

No doubt Lynn, no doubt.

John Lowe...Come On Down

2008-08-23T13:39:00.006-04:00

You're the next contestant on Splendid Lynn Henning.

KANSAS CITY, Mo. -- This is where Fernando Rodney got his first big-time save.

It came in the final week of the 2003 season.

Ah, yes, the magical Tigers/Royals pennant race of 2003. I remember it as if it were yesterday. The Tigers ultimately came up short, finishing a mere 40 games behind the Royals (who finished 7 games behind the Twins and 3 back of the Sox.)

At that point, the Tigers needed to win four of their final five games to avoid tying the Mets' all-time record of 120 defeats.

"The big time" for the Tigers prior to 2006; narrowly avoiding the worst record of the modern era.

Rodney entered with none out in the eighth and a one-run lead, retired all six Royals he faced, and saved the Tigers' 4-3 victory. They avoided matching the Mets by one loss.

Anyone who saw that save in Kansas City could think, "Rodney could be a full-time closer someday."

Here's the box for the game Lowe is referring to.

Ah, the halcyon days for Shane Loux.

Holy shit, did the Tigers really win a game with an outfield of Ben Petrick, Alex Sanchez, and Andres Torres? Next thing you're going to tell me is that the Tigers could win a playoff game with Alexis Gomez at DH and Neifi Perez batting 2nd and playing short.

FUCK.

He has had a long wait for the role. It finally arrived four weeks ago when he succeeded Jones.

Rodney's first week on the job, he was a bigger and faster version of the fabled Jones roller coaster. He turned a non-save situation against Chicago into a turbulent event before he got the final out. Then within days, he blew his first two save chances as Jones' successor -- one on a homer, another on the three walks and hit batter in Tampa Bay.

Fernando Rodney sucks, we get it Lowe.

But maybe we all should have remembered that, when Rodney got the call last month to replace Jones, he already had 21 career saves for the Tigers and another for the Dominican Republic in the World Baseball Classic in '06.

Rodney's first week as Jones' successor was not so much a failed audition as an aberration.

Fernando Rodney doesn't suck?

In the 2 1/2 weeks since Rodney's walk-filled loss in Tampa Bay, the Tigers have disappeared from the playoff race.

Damn you Rodney! We were on the verge of greatness until you took over!

If there has been one good thing for the Tigers in 2 1/2 weeks, it's that Rodney has righted himself and has verified that he can be the full-time closer next season.

Heckuva job Rodney. ATTABOY!

Meanwhile, Rodney's line from last night against those vaunted Royals:
1 inning, 2 earned runs, 3 hits, 1 walk, and another near disaster.

And closer remains the most important and hardest-to-fill job in baseball. (Ask all those NL contenders who don't have full-time closers right now.)

I'm going to say no on that one. It's one of the easiest positions to fill if you're creative and smart. Most baseball GM's and managers are the polar opposite. That's why people like Todd Jones exist.

And what NL teams are being referenced here? Billy Wagner is hurt for the Mets, but Aaron Heilman is filling in and he's pretty good. Lidge is killing it for the Phillies. Kerry Wood has been solid for the Cubs, Salomon Torres! is doing well enough for the Brewers. Brandon Lyon hasn't been so great for the Diamondbacks but they have a very deep bullpen and plenty of guys that could step in if need be. Saito is on the DL like the rest of the Dodgers pitching staff but Broxton is a beast and will be fine.

Will Rodney be an effective closer over a full season? We can't know that until we see him do it over a full season.

Great Joe Morgan-style analysis. Way to go out on a limb with "we can't know."

But has Rodney shown enough that the Tigers can give him the job going into next season? Has he shown enough that they won't have to get into the bidding for free agent Francisco Rodriguez, who is heading for more than 50 saves with the Angels this season?

Meanwhile, getting into a bidding war for Frankie Rodriguez would be retarded. It's basically a lock that it will happen with Mr. I, DD, and the Skipper running the show but we just went through a list of the closers for the top 6 teams in the NL and NOT ONE was a high-priced free agent pickup. Notice a trend?

That answer would also seem to be yes, barring a big collapse by Rodney the rest of this season. The Tigers can use their money in the off-season on other needs such as left-handed hitting and speed. (Not stolen-base speed necessarily -- just some basic first-to-third speed.)

2008 Tigers runs scored: 648, 6th in the AL (currently 12 runs behind the White Sox and 4 behind the Twins)
2008 Tigers runs allowed: 637, 10th in the AL (89 worse than the Sox and 57 behind the Twins)

So, let's just spend our money on left-handed hitting and first-to-third speed. Sounds like a great plan.

Whenever Rodney first gets on the mound in this weekend's three-game series in Kansas City, he will try to add to a scoreless streak.

Streak over.

Mark Twain is to Samuel Clemens as Mike O'Hara is to Matt Millen

2008-08-20T00:45:00.006-04:00

There really is no other explanation for this, is there?

It's bad enough that O'Hara guaranteed at least 9 wins for the Lions this year. If he had just posted a one line article stating his prediction, that 9 wins is "the standard," we could have pointed/laughed and just assumed he got a nice reach-around from Rod or Matt.

But then he had to elaborate, expound, and double-down on the craziness:

When the 2008 schedule was released, I wrote the Lions could win nine games. It wasn't a prediction, just a somewhat humorous way of showing how a 9-7 season was possible. From what I've seen so far, I was wrong.

Hey, the Lions only have 7 wins to go. They're 2-0 with wins over the Super Bowl champs and the high-powered Bengals. Cross Kitna is working on a perfect season. All is right with the world. I see where O'Hara is coming from.

Huh? What's that you say?

It's the preseason?

Oh.

Well they're still 2-0 and that counts for something right?

Wait, they were 2-0 in the preseason last year too?

OK, nevermind.

The Lions will win nine games, maybe more. They're super fast on defense, they will build a running game, protect the quarterback and have talent at wide receiver. I say 9-7 is the standard. Whether that earns a playoff spot remains to be seen, but this team will not fall apart, unless shredded by injuries.

I love the injury caveat. This is the Lions we're talking about. Of course they'll be decimated by injuries. It always seems that way because they never have any depth. They don't have much front line talent either, but with the Lions it's the difference between a marginal NFL player and signing guys off the street 24 hours before a game that they end up starting (Doug Evans/Otis Smith™).

Calvin Johnson is currently one of the 10 best players in the NFL.

Look, I like Calvin Johnson. (How's that for a caveat?)

However, this is just insanity.

CURRENTLY ONE OF THE 10 BEST PLAYERS IN THE NFL.CURRENTLY ONE OF THE 10 BEST PLAYERS IN THE NFL.CURRENTLY ONE OF THE 10 BEST PLAYERS IN THE NFL.CURRENTLY ONE OF THE 10 BEST PLAYERS IN THE NFL.CURRENTLY ONE OF THE 10 BEST PLAYERS IN THE NFL.CURRENTLY ONE OF THE 10 BEST PLAYERS IN THE NFL.CURRENTLY ONE OF THE 10 BEST PLAYERS IN THE NFL.CURRENTLY ONE OF THE 10 BEST PLAYERS IN THE NFL.CURRENTLY ONE OF THE 10 BEST PLAYERS IN THE NFL.

I've checked the article several times during the day to see if some intern was messing around and the News finally got around to fixing the error. No such luck.

Calvin Johnson has to have a pretty damn good sophomore season just to be considered one of the 10 best receivers in the NFL. This is Peter King level stupidity here folks.

Forget about how the Lions should have drafted Joe Thomas (Browns offensive lineman) or Adrian Peterson (Vikings running back) last year.

2 preseason games are more important than the entire 2007 regular season. That is the overarching lesson to be learned from Mike O'Crazy. It's not even worth getting into a strategic discussion of whether you'd rather have a star left tackle, running back, or wide receiver is it? After all, Calvin Johnson is now one of the 10 best players in the league.

Herman Moore set the standard for all Lions receivers, and Johnson is meeting it.

What does this mean? Scott Mitchell set the standard for all Lions quarterbacks back in 1995 and he was a fat pussy. (Lela Star™)

Tatum Bell is playing -- or not playing -- his way into being the odd man out at tailback. He plays and acts like he isn't interested in playing football. He doesn't seem to be engaged with the team in any manner. His performance has been dreadfully lackluster, and it looks like he has lost his desire to play. Kevin Smith , Aveion Cason , Artose Pinner and Brian Calhoun all are ahead of him.

So it turns out that a guy that couldn't even crack the active roster last year isn't that good? Huh? I'm shocked. Meanwhile, is anyone confident the Lions will "build a running game" if they go into the season with Kevin Smith, Cason, Pinner, and Calhoun as their backs? Besides Colletto, Millen, Rod, Killer, and O'Hara?

Didn't think so.

The Lions have more good, young players on the roster than at any time since Jerry Ball , Bennie Blades , Chris Spielman , Barry Sanders and Moore were coming into their prime. Just to name a few, and in no particular order, Ernie Sims , Johnson, Roy Williams , Gosder Cherilus , Jerome Felton , Smith, Andre Fluellen , Daniel Bullocks , Gerald Alexander , Ikaika Alama-Francis (watch him develop this year), Jordon Dizon , Orlovsky and Stanton will form the nucleus of the team.

Again, if the Lions are the standard than there is no standard at all.

That being said, Ernie Sims is chronically overrated. Cherilus has yet to play an NFL down and is currently behind Jeff Backup and George Foster on the depth chart. You don't build your team around a right tackle unless your QB is a lefty. Jerome Felton? LOL. He's getting more run than Mike Barwis these days because he's got a great family story. I'll reserve judgment on the guy until he actually plays an NFL game. Kevin Smith? Fluellen? Yet to play a real down. Bullocks is coming off a severe injury and was just recently cleared to practice. Alama-Francis is going to develop this year? Great. Let's hope he can actually make the active roster for more than 6 games and go from there. Jordon Dizon? Wake me up when he supplants the postal worker at linebacker. ORLOVSKY! Come on Mike. Stanton? He's the rich man's Mike McMahon and poor man's Josh McCown until proven otherwise.

In two games, Kitna hasn't been touched. Amazing.

Kitna has made 10 pass attempts so far. 10. That he hasn't been touched isn't amazing me. And I'm pretty sure he was touched by an angel anyway.

A home playoff game for the Lions? Don't count it out. But they're getting better faster than anyone thought -- especially me.

I haven't seen any retractions or corrections from the News yet about this being a guest editorial from Bill Ford Jr. with a mistaken byline.

I'll keep looking.

Henning The Magnificient

2008-07-30T16:47:00.004-04:00

Carnac, move over

Tigers a smart bet to be quiet at deadline

Wait, what's this???

Tigers Trade Pudge to Yankees for Farnsworth

Fuck.

I was hoping for JEFF Farnsworth.

Splendid Lynn's Bio

2008-07-28T23:36:00.004-04:00

Just stumbled upon this splendid little bio over at detroitnews.com:

Lynn Henning joined The Detroit News sports staff in 1979 after 3½ years as a sports writer and columnist for the Lansing State Journal. A lifelong Michigan native (St. Johns) and a 1974 journalism graduate from Michigan State, Henning has specialized through the years in covering baseball, as well as Michigan and Michigan State, Lions and Red Wings, and in writing about the outdoors. Henning spent seven years during the 1990s as editor of PGA Magazine and as a writer for the national weekly, Golfweek.

Lynn can be reached at lhenning@detnews.com.

Lynn Henning's favorites:
Favorite movie: Fargo
Favorite restaurant: Streetside Seafood, Birmingham
American hero: Thomas Jefferson
Favorite music: Jazz
Favorite shows and places away from sports and ESPN: Hardball with Chris Matthews; anything about World War II; HBO programs; History Channel; Sundance Channel.

No commentary, just for the record.

My favorite homophobic baseball pitcher

2008-07-25T23:20:00.004-04:00

Yes, I love Todd Jones. I love him because it's fabulous when old-school baseball writers bring up his save percentage and attempt to pretend he's good at being a baseball pitcher. It's OK, they don't know any better. The save stat is useless, eclipsed in uselessness only by pitcher won/loss record.

I also LOVE it when he gives up bombs to Jermaine Dye.

Look, this Tigers team is poorly constructed. They have 1 good starting pitcher. Rogers blows, Robertson blows, Galarraga is a timebomb, and Miner doesn't count. The Tigers' bandwagon is full of douchebags that didn't even know Detroit had a baseball team until 2006. These fuckers stroke themselves off to Brandon Inge at night. Todd Jones upsets these people when he falters and I can't help but get a tingle up my leg (Chris Matthews™) when that happens.

Leyland has a new rule for Jones' use every month. First they had to watch his use on back to back days. Then they needed to use him ONLY in save situations. I guess the guy just can't get juiced up to throw his 89 mph cutter right down the middle unless he's protecting a lead. OK, fine.

Now, they just have to make sure they don't "overuse" him. Just encase this bigoted fuck in glass already and slap a "Use Only When Down By 10 Runs" sign on there. Or just encase him in glass and forget the sign.

Joneseycakes has 15 walks against 13 strikeouts in 2008. He's given up 46 hits in 39.2 innings. Every out he gets is a matter of luck.

This is not about the "closer" role. This is about a roster spot. Todd Jones is not a good use of one.

Lynn's Back At It

2008-07-25T01:58:00.003-04:00

Mr. Henning has a long article today rehashing some of his favorite topics: Armando Galarraga's savior status, the Tiger's offseason failures, Edgar Renteria being anti-splendid, etc.

He also veers into "Baseball 101" territory with some talk of Tigers' scouts and their input into player acquisitions.

There is an interesting quote from Captain Blue Shirt, President Dombrowski, where he basically admits this core isn't going to win a World Series. "We may not win with these players, because we're getting older," he said, with a touch of resignation. He's right, but it's interesting to hear it from the guy that doubled down on these guys a few months ago.

Anyway, I'm not going to parse this thing line by line but the opening salvo was vintage Lynn and it's all downhill after that:

When the Tigers invested heavily, even dangerously, in three National League stars during the offseason, any anxiety was overwhelmed by a baseball team's bliss.

I had a hard time comprehending things after that. I've got a brain that I'm trying to keep from melting here people.

Anxiety & baseball team bliss.

Tilt.

First Post: The venerable Lynn Henning gets nice and crazy for us today!

2008-07-23T14:58:00.000-04:00

Lynn has a 3-pronged crazy attack for us in today's Detroit News. His latest opus focuses on Three names, events, etc., that top one person's list of Tigers talking points 10 weeks before the 2008 playoffs begin:

Hooray! Let's dig in:

1. Renteria's Troubles at shortstop

Uh oh, Lynn has been picking on Edgar lately, mainly concerned about his lack of any extra-base hits and lackluster range in the field.

It is, to me, an astonishing case of loyalty. Renteria has had an abysmal season that is stretching into its fourth month.
You wonder how many baseball people would be surprised if he were released. It's difficult to believe the Tigers would fare as badly if Ramon Santiago and a trade-deadline utility infielder replaced Renteria.
I understand past performances and the need to believe in players, but this in one personnel issue that's thoroughly baffling.

Wow, Lynn seems to be implying that the Tigers would should just outright release a guy they traded Jair Jurrjens and Gorkys Hernandez for just a few months back. And his plan to replace him? 1/2 of the Flying Infantiago brothers (career batting line of .239/.307/.320 in 913 at-bats) and a "trade-deadline utility infielder." Gosh, I hope Dombrowski is better at obtaining trade deadline utility guys than off-season starting shortstops.

Strange though, I remember Lynn telling me different things about Mr. Renteria in the past. For instance, from March 22, 2008:

Edgar Renteria, shortstop: He is not flashy. His days as an All-Star are probably in the past. But
he gets the job done at shortstop. He nails down the most important position on the field. The Tigers
paid a hefty price to land him, but no team is going anywhere without a quality shortstop. And
Renteria is all of that.

My big question is, if they release Renteria, aren't they forfeiting all of those clutch hits he will rack up with his clutchy goodness in the postseason?

2. Miner's big start

Lynn seems to think that Miner is going to propel the Tigers down the stretch. Currently, Zach Miner has 28 walks and 24 K's this season. But hey, that was mostly as a reliever, and he's a starter now!

He is back doing what he does best, starting, which was clear Monday night. He is more relaxed as a starter and is better able to let off the throttle on his fastball, which gets him into control trouble when he overthrows it.

Miner's career as a starter: 91 innings, 4.74 ERA
Miner's career as a reliever: 106.1, 3.47 ERA

Now, it's very possible that a 4.75 ERA as a starter has more value to the Tigers than a 3.47 ERA as a reliever, but I don't think Lynn was getting at that. Actually, I'm certain that has nothing to do with what Lynn is saying.

3. The making of an ace

Lynn is really excited that Justin Verlander might end up with 15 wins despite starting out 2-9. Of course, this is incredibly unimportant, but it launches Lynn into the following:

Prove that he could end up doing it all before he's finished: 300 victories, Hall of Fame -- you can't rule out anything when a pitcher has the superior talent Verlander owns.

Verlander is 25 years old. He currently owns 43 MLB wins. Lynn is talking about him getting to 300. Let's just assume he gets to 15 wins this year. That would give him 50 career victories. If he averaged 16 wins for the next 15 years, he'd have 290. He'd need 10 wins in his age-41 season to get to 300.

I'm taking the under.

Welcome to Splendid Lynn Henning

2008-07-14T02:16:00.001-04:00

This blog will chronicle the adventures of Detroit sportswriters, and media personalities. Folks such as Lynn Henning, Pope Jon Paul Morosi, Tom Gage, the whole MLive crew, Drew Sharp, Rob Parker, etc. At least that's the idea. The blog is named for Lynn Henning who badly overuses his thesaurus and famously (OK, not so famously) referred to Jacque Jones as a "splendid" hitter a few years back. He really loves throwing splendid out there. You'll see.